Poem for My Love

I loved you the moment you walked into my life,
unable to take my eyes off you my soul in strife.
Knowing that soon I'd be made to leave and go far away,
but wanting to hold onto my angel hoping that somehow I could stay.
Going crazy wishing upon every star that fell from the sky.
I was reunited with my one true love not understanding why,
How I came to find a love so special and true,
and now half a world away still all I'm praying for is you.

I love you so much baby Love -Fish

Rambling From a Jedi Knight

Man the past month has really shown me a lot about myself... Seems like things have finally come full circle... I have been at constant conflict with the marines in my section... They went on one deployment and didn't see any combat... yet they tried to call me a "boot". Upon observing their behaviors, actions, and overall leadership style... I came to the conclusion that they were boots themselves... they complain like boots, they act like boots, and they make the same stupid mistakes that boots make. They are lazy and just completely unmotivated... Well here and now... our leadership has finally recognized that this is true and now they all get treated the same as the actual boots who are on their first deployment... So just remember when you are going through tough times with people and you want to take actions... Remember that Vengeance is mine says the Lord... You may want to take revenge on someone... but that is never the path you should take... Stand fast in your beliefs and you will be rewarded.

21st

Yesterday was my 21st birthday, I would have liked to have spent it with my wife and family, but I'm still in Iraq so yeah. I had a good birthday lots of people left me comments and e-mails wishing me a good day so I can't complain about anything really except I really miss my love. I am so ready to get home so I can take care of my Lizzy and not have to worry about running off anymore... God has blessed me so much with such a wonderful life I can't even believe it. I've had the opportunity to do such awesome things in my military career and now I'm tasked with the honor of taking care of a great woman and having her take care of me. Anyways I just thought I'd post to say thank you to everyone for remembering me, and I'd like to thank my lovely wife for sending me a birthday present two months early lol I did wait to open it. Yeah that's it from my end -Skywalker out

I Made a New Friend

Xavier the kitty is my new friend out here... Iraq is tough, not because it's so dangerous, but simply because of the constant separation stress and lack of things happening. Add on other issues and it makes for a huge mental burden. So Xavier is helping me calm down when I'm really angry or just frustrated, and I'm helping him find his next meal haha! He's a sweet cat, kind of annoying to most people but he just needs attention and food. I actually got him to sit at the table with me today, it was pretty cool. He wouldn't eat the pork I tried to give him today, but he was pretty content to just sit near me and meow and try to get me to pay more attention to him than I was my food. Anyways Xavier's pretty cool in my book and he's way nicer than most of the other people here... Still though I'm going to have to leave him... I don't think Jack would like a Muj Kitty running around the house...

You People Suck!!!

I am tired of all the crap I patiently put up with... How hard is it to be a respectful civilized human being... Honestly I put up with so many people's bs that it's not even funny. I don't even know why I do, I could easily take people down without even trying, why do I bother being nice to people who constantly spit in my face? So to all you people who... Start crap for no reason, disrespect my wife, constantly underestimate me, yell for no fricking reason, try to act like you're superior to everyone else, and mistake my kindness for weakness... You all suck and I'd like to punch every one of you in the face... but I won't because I can not will not stoop down to your lowly child like level. Except this once... when I tell you all to go jump off a tall bridge with no water at the bottom.

I Remember...

The first time I held your hand... We were going to our first movie together, and neither of us was really considering it a date. Then I held out my hand like I was going to give you something and when you opened it, I slid my fingers in between yours... It was like perfection, my heart raced and from that moment on I never wanted to let go of your hand, or you for that matter. Well it's been well over a year since that fateful day and I still find my heart racing when I think about holding your hand, and just getting to spend every day with you. It's so freaking awesome that I get to spend the rest of my life with someone as amazing as you. Every little memory we have is just one more thing that strengthens me in this place. You keep me going when I don't want to roll over and get out of my cot, and you make me smile when I think about all the crazy and goofy things we do together. I'm truly blessed to be able to say I have the best wife in the world. I love you and I pray for you and think about you all the time. You are in my heart my soul, and my dreams. I can't wait to be with you again... I just want to hold your hand
Love "fish"

Nothing is Trivial

The way the sunlight shines in on your back in the morning when you first wake up. The way you notice when I do the smallest little gesture to try and be sweet. The way we always seem to notice when the other is upset even half a world away from eachother. The way you kiss me. The sparkle you get in your eyes when I cook for you and bring you Arizona green tea and a butterfinger crisp. Everytime you hug me it's like I've been away forever and you couldn't be happier to see me. When we wrestle and play around... I love your cooking. The way you work hard around the house while I'm gone or when I'm there. The way you wake up every morning at 930 and insist that I do the same. The way you look at me. The way you move. When you walk into a room, I still have a hard time taking my eyes off of you. I love that you enjoy me giving you back massages. I love your stubborness. I love it when your a smart alec. I love your spirit. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your toses. I love your hair. I love it when you play hard to get. I love it when you suprise me in the morning. I love so much about you I could post a blog everyday saying reasons and not even run low on them... If anything this deployment has reminded me that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is trivial from me kissing your bare back in the morning to the way you love just sitting at an old volcanic crater with me. I have so much more appreciation for all the little adventures that we take together and I look forward to having more with you. I love you so freaking much "fish"

Peace Bro...

I was rolling through town yesterday and an Iraqi man shot me the peace sign haha!
Of course I returned it from the turret that I was in. The whole time laughing to myself at the irony of the exchange of peace signs between a dude who had a machine gun pointed at him... and the guy pointing the gun. Well Iraq has come a long long long way from where it was. Still has a heck of a long way to go but man it has really progressed.

My Love

Not a moment goes by when you aren't in my thoughts... I can't turn a corner and not be reminded of you in some form, be it by a simple breeze or the sunlight shining through a crack in our worn down brick walls or the simple fact that you aren't there when I wake up. I constantly have to remind myself that this will be over soon, and that seven months will go by quickly. I've never missed anyone as much as I miss you. I feel like half... More than half of me is missing. I keep playing memories of us going to big bear or disney land or just sitting in the trailer trying to decide what movie to watch in my head over and over again... and when I do sometimes I get sad and angry with myself for ever getting angry or agitated about trivial things like staying an hour or so late for work, or having to get up a little earlier. I have the revalation that really nothing is trivial everything from washing the dishes with you to doing laundry taking out trash or going to bed bath and beyond, is simply the greatest adventures I undertake simply because they're with you. We always manage to make it fun anyways, and we're never short on hilarious mishaps. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'll never take you for granted, and I'll never take this perfect love that we share lightly, and no matter how old I get, no matter how long we're together... I'll always turn of the X box to go get you bagel bites, and I'll always go to bed bath with you when you want me to. Love you so much baby

Shadows of an Empire

We stayed at camp Baharia for a short time, it was actually pretty interesting. It used to be one of Saddam's son's palaces... Of course we destroyed it, now where used to be a nice resort is a very modest, but huge camp. I managed to snag a peice of rubble from the palace so that should make a nice momento of where I've been. It's odd when you think about it I wonder if Saddam, or either of his sons ever had an inkling that we'd come crashing down on them so hard. Makes you wonder if it was the right thing to come crashing down so hard. Not saying that they didn't have it coming, but maybe there could have been a better way to go about it. I mean did we create more violence by doing so? Could we have ended this conflict years ago by taking a second to evaluate a more patient approach? I don't think that what we did was wrong, Saddam was oppressing the Kurds using chemical and biological weapons on them, torturing them. He certainly had a lot to answer for. We've learned a lot about armed conflict and we've certainly come a long way when it comes to resolving conflict in the least bloody manner possible. Just wondering out loud I suppose

Retrospect

When I started this, I intended for it to be an interesting story that writes itself. I did not intend for it to be a source of strife. Controversy is fine that can be controlled, directed, and civilized. I had only the slightest idea that the entry wouldn't be taken the way it was supposed to be, so I learned once again that if I have a feeling about something I should always go with my gut instinct. So I'm sorry about the feelings that were hurt through said entry... It was not a crack at how I was raised, I am grateful for my upbringing, it made me the man I am today. I was referring to the feelings of wanting to get out of Buffalo, away from all the people who said I couldn't make it out there and I wanted to make something more of my life. So I ask please before anyone, family or otherwise, jumps to a conclusion please come ask me before you post a potentially hurtful comment that could possibly start a lot of fighting. I want this to be a place to keep up with my "adventures" and a place to discuss issues. I will never post an entry to be hurtful to anyone, and if it is then call me on it. Thank you all and enjoy the Chronicles of a Jedi Knight

A long time ago...

I decided to leave my hometown in search of something more. I wanted to be free from my room my small town my seemingly endless constrictions that drove me insane at night. I wanted adventure beyond my wildest dreams, and I wanted to experience the world outside my little box. So... I joined the Marines, and became a prisoner in a different way no walls confining me... Just a psychotic set of rules and regulations to follow, along with a mindset that is bound to cause you spiritual grief... I have about a year left and I'm really trying to get my spiritual life back in order, I'm trying to let go of all the anger and rage this "job" has put inside me. So far it's going really well. Since I've put my mind body and soul to it, I've really come a long way. I still have a long way to go. With a seven month deployment ahead I'm going to need all the help I can get to stay on course, and I will. -Commander Skywalker